Swing Life Away -Fallingdark and I-

Mikey listened to his brother's sweet voice. Letting the words float through him like music. He pictured all the things he was saying in his head. A house, with a neatly trimmed garden and a few vegetable patches. A fire place, and a huge bed that they shared. He loved thinking about this, but when he woke up again, and reality crashed upon his shoulders, he felt like jumping down into the pits and breaking his neck.

Gerard eventually trailed off and looked acros at Mikey "Though, when you're some rich bigshot with a full degree and shit you probably won't want to share a house with your mucky brother" he teased, sitting up slightly;

Mikey sat bolt upright, he knew he was joking but it still made him upset to think like that., he didn't want Gerard to think like that either. Not ever. He loved him far too much for that. "No, Gerard, don't, I'm never going to leave you." he relaxed at his brother's smile and lay back down, closer to him. To his breat, his hair, his touch.

Gerard lay back dwn next to Mikey "I know you won't I love you" smiled Gerard. And he did, Mikey was as much a part of him as his right arm, he needed his younger brother around, it was his job to protect him and help look after him.

Mikey's heart, stomach, brain did backflips as he let the words wash through him and replayed them over and over. Could it be true? Did he really mean it? Mikey rolled onto his side and gave Gerard a peck on the cheek. Could be taken to ways. God how he hope it would be taken the right one.

Gerard glanced across and flash him a smile, he kised Mikeys forehead in return. It was only a brotherly kiss, something any family member could give, how was he supposed to know Mikey culd take it comepletely the wrong way?

Mikey gasped and wrestled Gerard to the floor, pinned his arms above his head and kissed him. He let his hot breath mingle with Gerard's and he pressed his body close to him, eager for his touch, hungey for more.

Gerard froze in shock, unsure what to do. What was going on?! In his panic he forgot to push Mikey away, letting the yonger kiss him. Not that he could move anyway, wit his arms pinned and his les would only cause friction.

Mikey pressed his tounge against Gerard's lips demanding entrance, moaning when it found it's way in. He collided their tounges together and clenched his eyes as a tear crept out. A tear of love. A tear of joy.

Gerard made a small noise of protest, trying to move. He didn't want this did he? Mikey was his brother for crying out loud! He loved him, and he'd do anything to make him feel happy but this was crosing the line!

Mikey released Gerard's hands, thinking he wanted this, and wrapped his own arms tightly around his rother

Gerard pushed him away and stared at him, a mix of confsion, slight feer and jsut...something else in his eyes "Wh-What are you d-d-doing?" he gasped, sitting up.

Mikey sterted to cry. "ithough you...I thought..." Mikey blubbered, he stood upand ran. Ran far. Ran fast.
He got to the bridge by the lake. He screamed at the top of his lungs, until he felt like bursting. "WHY!" he screamed.
He sank to the floor. His whole body shook as sobs rocked throgh him. Why wwas he such a freak? Why did he have to feel like thaat? He stood up again, vision clouded by tears.
He sttod up to the side of the bridge. He coughed and choke on his dry throat and more teard stuck to his cheeks. He stood up onto the side of the banisters and closed his eyes. Waiting until the spasms through his body stopped. He gave a deep reath and, with taste of hi brother's lips lingering on his mouth, he rose onto the balls of his feet ad preparedto jump.

Gerard had followed him, even if at a slightly slower pace. When he saw Mikey on the banister his heart seemed to stop for a minute before he ran faster than he ever had, by the time he caught Mikey ariound the waist and hauled him ack his chest and throat was burning and sweat stood out on his skin. He was as pale as a ghost as he ried into his brother shoulder "don;t you ever...Don't you EVER even consider doing that" he cried. He gripped Mikeys shoulders and stared into his eyes, tears pouring down the olders cheeks.

"Why not? I'm a freak, I don't deserve to live. I'm unnatural. I'm unholy." Mikey was re-united with the violent tremors reaching from his throat to his back. They rocked him and shook him. Causig him to grip Gerard tigher. He knew clinging to his brother like this after what had just happened wouldn't help in the slightest, but it felt good to be in contact with him.

"No, oh god o" sobbed Gerard, pullin him into an even tighter hug "You'r a beautifu amazing person Mikey, I was just surprised taht's all. You're not a freak and I would die without you aroundm, you're a part of me. And who cares what's considered Holy? Only grandma wold gives a shit about that, even grandad used to refuse tl go to church or anything."

"You can't think that. I'm a freakk Gee, i shouldn't feel like this. I do't wanna, I shouldn't." he muttered. He knew how Gerard must see him:littl brother. Insane. Freak Suicideal. He was just comforting him. He felt so dirty, so wrong. He didn't want to feel like a....piece of shit.

Gerard tilted Mikeys head back and hesitantly kied Mikeys lips tenderly, finding that this tie around it didn't feel so weird, that it felt almost...Good.

Mikey pulled away, and let go of Gerard. "Don't...That's not fair. Don't...tease me. I can't help it. If i ccould do you think I'd chooses to feel like this?!" Mikey sighed. He turned away and leant over the anister to catch his breath. "I'm sorry I love you okay?" Mikey sighed as the splashing of the water gave him a cool breeze that made him feal better and stopped the burning from all the hot tears on his face.

"I'm not teasing" whispered Gerard, placing a hand on Mikeys shoulder "I-I alwaysfelt more than I should have about you, I ust-maybe this is what it always was, and I never realised..." he said uietly, hugging his brother arond te shoulders "You're so beautiful Mikes, you shouldn't be sorry for loving someone"

Mikey spun around, "You- you really mean it?" He whispered. He couldn't believe it He'd spent all his life repressing these fealings. If he'd had said somethin ooner...NO. He wouldn't think about that. Here and now was what mattered. And here and no Gerrd loved him. Really loved him. He held him close and Kissed him hard.

Gerard wrapped his arms around Mikey and held him close, kissing him back tenderly. He thought of all the times he watched Mikey sleep and wondered what was under his clothes, the wird dreams that hadn't made sense, the way he'd simply watched his lips move and he suddenly understood it all.

Mikey moanned and pushed himself against the older's chest. "I loe you Gee" he mumbled into his mouth. He let the feeling of love, peace nd acceptace wash over him. He never thought he'd feel like this. He thouht he'd always feel, rejected, freakish, unnatural. Now he finally felt like he was where he belonged.

Gerard kept kissing him until he hd to pull away "We better go back, service ends in five minutes, and I don;t particularly want belting for running off do you?" he said, ut a smile covered his face as he stroked Mikeys heek with his thumb.

Mikey didn't want to go back. He wanted to stay with Gerard, on their own forever. "Fine." He said reluctantly. Plannting a final kiss, for now anyway, onto Gerard's cheek, he set off walking back for the church. Dragging his feet and scuffing his shoes on the dirt roads, he savoured the taste of his brother's lips and arrived at the dismal looking church, that now seemed to show beauty and colour. Everything seemed better than normal. Because Gerard loved him.